When you are seeking out expert advice, or when asking for help – is today’s topic.
Once you have made it into management or leadership, or maybe you are now considered an expert in a particular field. Sometimes it becomes difficult to ask for assistance, especially in the area you are supposed to be excellent at. I come across this with friends of mine, and in fact myself sometimes.
Let me give you an example – let’s say you are a top producing salesperson and you have hit a slump. Where do you turn for advice? Or do you ask for advice… or help to get out of your slump?
See, with so many people, it is really hard to bruise our own ego and ask for help from other sources. Because if for at least a moment, it means first and foremost, that we have to admit the ultimate truth to ourselves… that we don’t have the answer!
Here I have come up with four other reasons that people, any people, not just experts, won’t ask for help!?
- Fear of being a bother. They don’t want to be a bother to someone else. You think, well they are to busy to deal with something so easy… but if it was that easy you would have the answer!
- Fear of having to owe someone something in return. Holy cow, this is huge… if I ask someone this, and they help me. Then I will “owe” them something, I’ll have to pay them back. AND – what if when they come calling… I don’t have the answer?
- Fear of being embarrassed and appearing weak, failure. This is a heavy one because, in our hearts, no one wants to really admit that they don’t know the answer for fear that the other party you may ask may see you as inferior. This is probably one of the most unjustified fears we can have? Most of the time, people do really want to help and it allows them to shine with their expertise.
- Good old fear of rejection. Quite simply, we are scared that if we ask… the other party might say “no.” I’ll say it again, most of the time, people do really want to help and it allows them to shine with their expertise. AND – the primary reason that they might say no… is if they don’t know the answer. Then you can seek it out together!
You MUST stay teachable and forever be learning!
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